20160417

FIFTY SHADES OF NAIL VARNISH

This morning l removed four layers of colour from my toe nails. I opened a new bottle 

of remover, sniffed its odour deeply, soaked a ball of cotton-wool in it & started to wipe.

Off came the top layer - black, the next a dark sagey-green, then bright lime

green & finally a delicate pearly-white.

Seldom do l wear finger-nail polish - it chips given the work l do. Finger-nail decor 

is only for special occasions + holidays; grown-up nails.

Toe-nails, of course, need a new colour everyday to match my outfit / sandals, me 

being a fashion victim. I get through litres of remover.

Some of my nail varnish is nearly 20 (twenty! years' old!). They are to be found 

on the topmost door-shelf of my fridge - the fridge is newer than some of those 

bottles. I moved to Mpumalanga & back 7-ish years later with said bottles.

My boss's wife remarked when she saw my collection: 'That is a woman who has 

her priorities right.' My 2.5 year old nephew moved them to the bathroom in

exasperation: 'What are these doing here?', he haarumphed.

I have long worn outrè colours. In the 1970s chrome yellow + cobalt blue - very

arty.  Green, inspired by one Sally Bowles.The mildly Goth look l like needed 

BLACK nails + lips - someone tracked them to a company that sold risqué / risky 

lingerie by  mail / male order.

Most l buy l find in the bargain basket, all the colours no-one else wants.

They have 'evocative' names: CLEAR, LIQUORICE, GRAPHITE, GLITTER-BALL, 

CHIRP-CHIRP (!), 05 (?), PEARLY PINK, FROSTED PINK, COOLIE PINK (p.c.?),

CHERRY PINK, REALLY RED (really), STANDING OVATION (huh?), ORANGE, 

AMBIENTE AMBER, TANGERINE, HYPNOTIZE (gold obviously), SUPER 

NATURE (liiiiiimmme), VICTORIAN CRUSH (sage naturally), 62 (glitter black/

gold/green), PURPLE PARTY PEOPLE, FORTUNE-TELLER (the blue yonder).

Henrty Ford said one could have any colour provided it was BLACK.

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